OMG SCHOOL IS BAAAACK! You have to understand. I have been waiting for 10 years for my kids to be taken care of by someone else besides me and Alex for free at least half a day!!!
In PNW we do not start school until after the Labour Day. On top of that, add gradual entry to kindergarten with one day it is a 20 minute interview. Another day is off because another half class is attending. A day after come for a half day. Then oops, it’s a weekend. Monday off. And finally, today, we have arrived to almost a full day. Just until 1PM. A true full day starts only next week till 2:20PM. So, honestly I have been one crazy mama the past few weeks losing my shit. And this is very nicely put.
Trying to keep a house clean, kids fed, getting work done and raising kids without iPads and video games ain’t a job for a husband. Man, I need a week to slowly recover to a normal self Olena. I couldn’t blog as much as I would like to and it has been killing me. I do not have a stay at home mom gene in me. I need to work. I am a work from home mom which automatically makes me a stay at home mom with benefits but even more responsibilities haha.
I am glad the craziness is over. I am glad unbrushed teeth till 4PM nightmare is over. Not mine, kids’. I am glad they can go and get dirty in paint at school and come home exhausted for a TV break and a snack. Haha, I love that! And then it is bedtime. I wish my bedtime was 6PM. I have been dreaming about it the moment I would wake up. No, when kids woke up. Which is never past 7:30AM. OMG. Why these kids don’t want to sleep in?!
So, inability to compose even 3 meaningful sentences during the past few weeks forced me more into the kitchen. I guess stress made me crave chocolate. Like crazy. At first I was eating organic dark chocolate bars. Then when we were out I had to make my own.
See, I was laying in bed last night till midnight unable to sleep. I had a few cups of coffee in the morning because if you saw my Monday’s morning kitchen you would have had 3 margaritas too. No, let me show you MY Monday morning kitchen.
A weekend of a hockey tournament, everyone eating at home and hosting friends on Saturday will do just that to your kitchen. When Alex came downstairs on Monday at 6:30AM and saw our kitchen he made me coffee right away. After 15 years my husband knows me well. Like we never ever leave our kitchen like this for the night. So, he knew this was bad. Not to mention the sticky greasy fingerprints all over main floor’s walls and furniture, piles of laundry upstairs and no school for a 5 year old.
OMG, no school. I thought I would die. No, honestly. What is wrong with kids of 2016?! They are so hard to work with. Little things do not make them happy. Adam’s latest idea for the past week has been…Just hear me out. Imagine 5,000 Lego pieces in boxes all over the room and then your kid pulls out a manual for a tiny 95 piece police car and wants you to help him rebuild it. But first you have to locate those 95 pieces. WTF! And if you say “No” it is a full blown tantrum. And like this for days.
Or an idea of a water balloon fight in +15C weather with no water balloons at home. Like why the F… it can’t be a colouring, a favourite TV show or a playground request?! Seriously, what is wrong with my children?! OMG, no school almost killed me. Yes, Monday was a coffee morning despite me cutting back on coffee and dairy. But this is what I mean – balance! Dead mama or a caffeinated mama? A no brainer, right?!
I don’t mean to bore anyone with stories about my kids. No, wait, it is not boring. It is my survival stories. These stories are about me. Isn’t all my life about me?! Haha. Last night me and Alex drove in separate cars to a hockey parent meeting. Why separate cars? Because after he was going home to put kids to bed and I was going grocery shopping. Yes, at 9PM. Anyways, we were having the quietest conversation of 2016 on phones waving at each other in mirrors! It is retarded, I know.
So, I am so over kids at home and just have to share my pain. I just have to let it all out. My mom tries to offer me solutions all the time. Which are to sell all Lego on Craigslist, for example. Not helpful. Like at all. There is no other solution except somebody else taking care of the kids. Period. No solution. I need sympathy or come over here and do my job. That is it. Which she offered to do and in less than 2 weeks me and Alex are off to…You will have to wait. I will post pictures of all our sexy selves sleeping everywhere on vacation story here. The goal for this vacation is NOTHING. To check out from real life. This is the goal, my friends.
So, last night I couldn’t sleep and was laying in bed next to snoring Alex. Which doesn’t help to sleep but we are clearly too young to sleep in separate rooms yet. I had a perfect story to write today and now it is gone. Poof. Of course. So, I wrote what I am feeling like right now at 12PM on Tuesday. I worked out and made these healthy chocolate coconut balls. I came up with the recipe during those crazy weeks out of pure necessity to stay sane. I wanted a dark chocolate (my favourite!) treat without much guilt.
Combining coconut oil (which I have 2 HUGE jars of right now because I forgot I had one and Costco doesn’t joke with its jars) with cacao powder and maple syrup makes dark chocolate. Did you know?! I prefer maple syrup to honey because it mixes and tastes better. My personal preference. Then I added unsweetened organic coconut flakes which I think makes the best combo in the world. I could eat Bounty almost every day if it wouldn’t make me fat, kill my gut flora and poison me with chemicals. And then some rolled or quick cooking steel cut oats for texture and carbs. That is it.
And no food processor necessary like many balls recipes call for. Yes, balls need a recipe apparently. Everything is mixed in one bowl or even a pot you melt coconut oil in.
Because I have nothing else to do, I wrote this post in like 10 chunks. After school pick up and forcing unfinished lunch into a 5 year old, I made myself a cup of green tea and carefully placed 2 of my vegan chocolate coconut balls next to it on a plate. Not too close so they don’t melt. I do need a chocolate boost to survive past my desired bedtime until the real one happens.
Until next sane time, friends.
- 1/2 cup coconut oil
- 1/2 cup cacao powder
- 1/4 cup maple syrup or raw honey*
- 1 cup coconut flakes, unsweetened**
- 1/4 cup rolled or quick cooking steel cut oats***
- 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
- In a medium pot, melt coconut oil on low heat.
- Remove from heat and whisk in cacao powder and vanilla extract. Whisk in maple syrup or honey. Add coconut flakes and oats; stir until well combined. Place mixture in a freezer for about 10 minutes.
- Line flat sheet or platter with parchment paper. Using small scoop, form and roll golf size chocolate coconut balls placing on a platter. Freeze for 30 minutes. Enjoy chilled straight from the freezer or fridge.
*If using refrigerated maple syrup, chocolate mixture will harden while mixing. You might not need to place it in a freezer before rolling. Also honey might require extra time whisking as it is quite solid. **I like to use coarsely shredded organic coconut flakes like Camino whenever I can find them. ***You can use 1/2 cup of oats for more hearty balls.
Servings Per Recipe: 12
Amount Per Serving = 1 ball:
Total Fat: 15.2 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 3.1 mg
Total Carbs: 10.0 g
Sugars: 4.5 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.2 g
Protein: 1.5 g
WW Points+: 5