Lots of foliage in this vegan kale pesto to kick off 2016 right! And it is vegan not because I’m vegan but because I do not like Parmesan cheese in a pesto. I would rather sprinkle it on top of pesto noodles. And eating less dairy and more vegetables is a plus anyways.
Pesto sauce is a tough food item in my clean eating books. It is impossible to find organic or at least non-GMO in my neck of the woods. I have tried a few homemade versions before but they were OK. My kids are not crazy about pesto either so that is another issue. However, I think I finally nailed it – we like vegan kale pesto with a lot of pine nuts in it. For boys – on top of whole wheat spaghetti, for me – mixed with chicken zucchini noodles.
Today is a tough day for me to write so I won’t write anything fake because I just can’t stand anything or anyone fake. You lose me right there and then…It is an emotional day for me and in a way it is hard to share my heartache but at same time I can’t just fake it. I spent morning cooking and photographing this vegan pesto which took my mind off things that have been on my mind for the past few weeks. The thing that is on my mind every day and will stay with me till the day I die.
So, if you are here for the vegan kale pesto I suggest you stop reading right here and just scroll to the recipe. Everything below would be useless to you. All I can say that the sauce is awesome! That is about it for my cooking inspiration today.
My mom visited us for a few weeks and it was a bittersweet. I love seeing my mom but at same time it hurts me to see her so unhappy. In my 34 years I have never seen my mom truly happy because she has never been truly happy. It is an awful feeling. Why? Well, main reason is because my mom has an insomnia. She doesn’t sleep for nights straight or only a few hours. Can you imagine how unhappy you would be?! And she is 64 years old now.
It is hard for her, it is hard for me, for her husband. It is hard on everybody. I grew up with unhappy mom. A mom who can’t function properly. She has a great heart but this disease made her who she is and I understand but at same time it is so hard to watch and experience it. I wish I could pay 20K and send her to a rehab. At least, with addiction all you have to do is get help and stop using. Everyone also knows about addiction issues and feels sympathy and understands what it is. For my mom’s insomnia we haven’t found the cure and no one can understand our pain…
Can you imagine if you didn’t sleep?! I remember sleepless nights with my kids and I felt like a zombie. Noises irritate you, you don’t want to be around people, nothing interests you. There is no excitement in life. You avoid life. You don’t want to deal with life because you do not have energy even to get in a car and drive to the store and have fun shopping.
Alex tells me that I want my mom to be who she is not. Yes, like any child wants a mom. A present mom, a functioning mom, a happy mom. A mom you can have fun with not depending on how the night went.
So, this is my mom I grew up with. Add to the mix I have never seen my father after they divorced when I was 6 and poverty, and I can tell you I had a pretty lonely and harsh life until I met Alex at 20 years old. I always had to stand up for myself and go get things for myself. A huge upside is that those circumstances made me who I am today – happy, determined person with good surviving skills. I can’t stand complaining individuals about mediocre things. Unless it is something significant you can’t fix, like death or an uncured disease, do not waste mine and your time on negativity. Losing weight, quitting smoking and crying about your unhappy childhood are OK to mention a few times but then it is time to act and deal with it. We are all grown ups.
I also became a mom I never had. I am present in my kids’ lives every moment. My mom says I do too much for my kids. But I want to. They are all that I have and I do want them to have a happy childhood me and Alex never had ourselves. This doesn’t mean expensive stuff but rather being there, with them, every step of the way. Either enrolling them in sports or discussing their little dramas with friends, kids need parents. Providing food and shelter simply is not enough in my eyes as a parent.
So, this is my pain. I’m more than sure each and everyone of us has their own pain or battle they are fighting inside. I thought of everyone I know and could see their pain they live with every day. It is a human mind that has memories and feelings. It is what it is. Just today was very hard for me to write much about vegan basil pesto sauce. I already feel better and I am so grateful for my own happy healthy little bunch of boys and this blog! Those two things make my days shine bright no matter what. Add another night cuddling in bed watching “Real Housewives” and a night of good sleep, and I’ll be back to normal tomorrow painting doors and kicking kids’ butts.:)
I was thinking I feel like writing about what it is like to be an immigrant. Maybe soon. But next I will share amazing light dinner recipe using this vegan kale pesto. Come back in a few days.:)
- 2 packed cups kale, stems removed & chopped
- 2 packed cups basil, including stems
- 1 medium garlic clove
- 3/4 tsp himalayan pink salt
- 1 tbsp lemon juice
- 3/4 cup pine nuts
- 1/2 cup olive oil, extra virgin
- In a food processor, add all ingredients, except olive oil. Process on High for a few minutes, pausing and scraping the walls.
- With food processor running on High, slowly pour olive oil and let processor run for a few minutes to make sauce fluffy and creamy. Transfer to a glass jar.
Servings Per Recipe: 12
Amount Per Serving = 2 tbsp:
Total Fat: 15.5 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 152.8 mg
Total Carbs: 6.4 g
Dietary Fiber: 3.4 g
Protein: 2.5 g
WW Points+: 4